Roy's Shenanigans
by Kitsune Tanaka
Summary: Roy reads, Edward comes home, THINGS happen. Just not with Edward. M for sexual content and language. YAOI. RoyEd


Note: This kind of started as a follow up to You're Out (Tentatively titled "We're In), and _might_ continue that way, but for right now, it's a one-shot. **Rating is for sexual content and language.**

**DISCLAIMER:** (Since I usually forget) I so totally don't own Full Metal Alchemist. There would totally be more mansex and mini-skirts if I did.

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Roy Mustang was sitting in what he had dubbed his "Comfy Chair" with a glass of wine and the book that his lover had given him for his birthday. It was the newest book from an author Roy had never heard of, Yuki Eiri.

Already in chapter seven after only reading for a half hour, Roy was enjoying himself immensely. After another ninety minutes, he had finished the book, and was looking online to see what else the man had written. Roy saw a few interviews had been wrangled out of the author, and most spoke of the man's striking features. Roy, being the logical person that he is, decided to look on the dust jacket of his book, and saw no author photo. The dark-haired man then decided to go back to his favorite search engine, typed in "Yuki Eiri" as the query, and clicked on the "Images" tab. As the page loaded, his young lover came in the door.

"How was your day? Did you enjoy the book," Edward asked as he came up behind Roy and placed a kiss on top of the older man's head.

Roy grunted non-commitally.

"What are you looking at?" Edward looked at the computer screen and gasped. "I saw him earlier with this pink-haired guy! Who is that?"

Roy turned his chair around and grabbed Edward's forearms. "Are you kidding?"

"No shit."

"That," Roy said as he jerked his head in the direction of the computer screen, "Is Yuki Eiri."

"Name sounds familiar…"

"The author of the book you bought me," Roy deadpanned.

"Oh! Right! So, what about him?"

"Look at him, Edward. He's fucking gorgeous."

"Yeah, he's not bad, but you're hotter."

Both men just looked at each other slack-jawed.

"Did you just…"

"Did I just…"

"Complement me…?"

"Complement you?!"

They just stared at each other for a few more seconds, until Roy grabbed Edward's shirt front, and pulled the younger man to him for a teeth-shattering kiss. The blond man crawled into the other's lap, grabbed the top of the chair, and started to grind his hips against the older man's.

"Mmm… Roy," the small man moaned as Roy moved his lips from lips to earlobe and down to a trembling throat. Edward wound his arms around his lover's neck, and clung on for dear life as the older man unbuttoned his shirt and trailed his tongue down the slim chest. The dark-haired man bit down on Edward's left nipple and the smaller man arched his back and hissed.

"Oh… fuck," he whispered.

"Your wish is my command, Princess."

Edward immediately snapped out of his sex haze. "Who the fuck are you calling Princess?"

"I don't know, it just felt right," Roy said as he moved in for another kiss.

"I don't think so, Flamey. Not this time," Edward said as he stalked off.

Mustang groaned at himself more than Edward, since it was almost a valid reason for the other man to be mad.

_Who would call a grown man "Princess" anyway? Wait. This could totally have some kink to it. Maybe I could get him to call me Colonel…_

Roy felt his rapidly softening erection stiffen, and moaned unconsciously. The tall man looked around to insure that he was alone, then he gently rubbed the bulge hidden under the zipper of his slacks. Raking his nails across the fabric, Roy hissed at the pain/pleasure that the sensation produced. Wishing it was Edward's hands (or mouth), instead of his own, Roy unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, thereby freeing his straining erection.

Three swiped across the tip of his cock coated the palm of his right hand in fluids, allowing him to move along the shaft more comfortably. A few more whole-hearted strokes brought him even closer to the breaking point.

"Oh god," he moaned when he dragged his left hand up his chest, across his face, and up to the crown of his head, where he grabbed fine, black hair and tugged.

"Unh," he grunted when he jerked harder and imagined there was a blond head between his thighs instead of his own hand.

"Mmm… Ah!" The dark-haired man bit his lip as he gave two more quick tugs, then spilled seed all over his hand and stomach.

Roy just panted and sagged in his chair while he looked for the tissue box that usually sat on his desk.

"Looking for this?" A sultry voice asked from behind his right shoulder.

"Edward… Please?"

"Ah, ah, aah!" The small blond wiggled his finger at his prone lover. "Not until you say the magic words."

"I already… Oh." Roy noticed the bulge in the smaller man's pants. "I'll fuck you through the floor in five minutes?"

"Close enough. It was actually 'a minute', but I'll give you five, because I want a sandwich while you clean up," Edward said as he tossed the tissue box at the other man.

"Make me one too?"

"Don't push your luck." Edward called back from the kitchen. "I gave you your tissues back."

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End Note: Like it? Hate it? Want more? Let me know. Click the button. You know you want to.

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